"Excuse Me, Do You Work Here?"

Tuesday 14 August 2012

The Benefits Of Makeup

People can do so many things with makeup. It can be used to enhance natural beauty, hide flaws, or scare the crap out of people on Halloween. Except for the third one, men rarely use the stuff, and don't really care to know much about it, unless it's used to cover up flaws. And these flaws aren't always the readily visible types.

It's late afternoon, on a day where an hour feels like a week, when a younger guy comes in to the store. He's probably in his late teens, possibly early twenties. He has a problem, and needs makeup to hide it.

The big problem is a glaring red monstrosity on his neck. It looks like he has been burned by the Curling Iron From Hell. If it were any bigger, an alien life form would likely pop out at any given moment.

"I need to hide this. Do you think makeup could work?" I don't have the heart to tell him that the thickest foundation in the world wouldn't be up to that task.

It's obvious that this poor boy has a bad hickey, and no idea how to hide it. He probably wants to hide it from the disapproving eyes of Grandma.

Actually, Grandma's reaction probably wouldn't be as bad as the reaction of the person this young man is actually trying to hide the hickey from. His girlfriend might not be too happy to see the hickey, considering the fact that she wasn't the one who gave it to him in the first place.

At this point, the young man is trying to find the foundation that matches his skin tone. He looks sheepish, like he has already been caught in a lie. And judging by the hickey on his neck, there was no way for him to hide it, even with the thickest clown makeup money could buy. The Band-Aid suggestion has been refused, as it would draw more attention to the problem area.

Because a violent red, oozing hickey didn't draw attention on it's own. And a violent red, oozing hickey with some foundation slapped on certainly wouldn't catch the attention of his girlfriend.

The man leaves with a bottle of foundation, but the shame clings to him. I never saw him again, so I couldn't ask if his girlfriend ever noticed the hickey, but unless he was dating a blind girl, he likely learned that makeup can't conceal everything.