All The World's A Stage- But You Look Like An Idiot When You Treat It Like One

I'm in the pharmacy lab, counting pills when I hear a terrible screech assaulting my ears. It sounds like an angry cat yelping as you throw it at a chalkboard and hear its claws scrape as it slowly slides down the board. I wonder where the fire alarm in the building went off when I see you. Walking down the aisle, whistling like its your last day left to wander up and down pharmacy aisles before being shipped back to Purgatory.

There's a song playing on the radio, but you don't bother to whistle along to it. In fact, the song you're whistling doesn't resemble any song I've ever heard in my life. It sounds more like the most accurate imitation of a train colliding with a Mack truck. You don't notice though, as you whistle and admire the selection of multivitamins.

The tune shifts slightly when you hit the cold medication section. It then sounds more like the long whine of a boiling kettle, tuneless and painful, but you're completely oblivious to the fact that you've gotten dirty looks from every employee and client in the store.

"Can I help you with anything?" I politely ask, hoping that any conversation will diffuse the wail of your own mouth wanting to rebel from your brain.

"No, thanks." And like that, you continue to slowly saunter. And whistle. Always with that annoying whistling noise.

You whistle as you admire every drink in the fridge, every box of toothpaste, every bottle of shampoo. You whistle as you stop to tie your shoe. I am almost certain that I see you hop a little, dancing to the tuneless song that plays in your head as that wail continues. On and on.

You whistle as you select your merchandise, then throughout the entire transaction at the cash. Whistle like an ambulance siren, in tune with the buttons that you press to enter your PIN for your debit card. You then nod, grab your bag, and whistle your way out of the store.

Then, there is nothing but calmness. The trainwreck is over. Serenity has descended on the pharmacy, and the  nameless pop song bubbles up again on the radio. It's the calm after the storm, the eerie peace after a tornado has whipped through a village.

Then you return to buy some gum, and repeat the process. All. Over. Again.